Salesmanship is out. Here’s what’s in.
By Beatrice Stonebanks
In an evolving marketplace, the winds of change are sweeping away the old paradigms of salesmanship. We find ourselves at the cusp of a new era—an era that rejects high-pressure tactics in favor of a more equitable, empathetic, and respectful approach.
Welcome to a trailblazing movement in sales, a journey I am eager to guide you through, where every interaction is not just a transaction but a step toward greater understanding and fairness. This is conscious sales, where respect is not just a courtesy—it's the foundation of every exchange.
The rise of respect-based sales
Sales have long been a battleground for dominance, a field where the patriarchal construct once reigned supreme. Historically, many businesses favored men for sales roles due to stereotypes associating sales with aggressive behavior, compounded by legal and institutional barriers that restricted women's workforce participation, and traditional gender roles that positioned men as the primary breadwinners. That model is not just fading—it is outdated. A new paradigm invites submission, service, mutual respect, and collaboration. We are witnessing a transformative shift from domination to submission-based dynamics in sales, altering the landscape for buyers and sellers alike.
Serving over selling
In the conscious sales model, serving has replaced selling. I believe there is nothing to sell. Consumers and businesses are aware; they can fact-check anything we say. This principle challenges us to rethink our approach—from the pushy, often impersonal, commission-based tactics to a transparent, integrity-filled engagement. Be their expert, and answer their questions; if you have the product or service the prospect wants to buy, they will sell themselves. And since buyers and sellers now encompass a spectrum of gender identities, replacing the binary view with a more inclusive one, it becomes even more important to focus on being their expert.
Sales are no longer about aggression and tenacity. Now they are about customer-service, and the fit: if you are their expert, if you have the product or service they want to buy, there is nothing to sell. You can focus on the relationship and respect-based sales. Boardroom and workplace misogyny is being traded for an equitable exchange of power, creating space for diverse voices and perspectives.
Harnessing gender dynamics
Gender plays a nuanced role in sales interactions. Acknowledging the differences in the buying styles of men and women—regardless of their sexual orientation—is not about reinforcing stereotypes, but about leveraging these differences to create respectful and effective sales experiences. Men often seek concise, factual answers to their questions, while women tend to prioritize trust and relationship-building along the way. However, these are tendencies on a spectrum, and respect is the universal language that speaks to all, spanning the entire gender spectrum. There is no longer a male-female binary.
Practical tips for engagement in any sale
Expertise over salesmanship: Position yourself as an expert who listens. There is nothing to sell if you are answering the questions your prospects are asking. By respecting their intelligence and decisions, by being their expert on your product or service, you allow them to sell themselves.
Preparation and transparency: Have your qualifying questions ready, including those around budget. Present your price points transparently, and then pause, allowing the client to categorize themselves: high end, mid-market, low end. This practice honors their budget and empowers you simultaneously.
Respectful follow-up: Respect the buyer's timeline. If they're not ready, inquire about a preferred follow-up time: tomorrow, next week, next month, next quarter. If they're ready now, ask how you can further ensure their satisfaction. This reinforces the buyer's role as the decision-maker and builds lasting trust. Tip:once you ask the question, don’t speak; just wait, and listen to their answer.
The business case for conscious sales
The conscious sales model isn’t just a philosophical or ethical stance—it’s a profitable one. Studies from McKinsey & Company, the Peterson Institute for International Economics, and Business LibreTexts have shown a clear link between gender diversity and improved financial performance. Companies with gender-diverse executive teams and employees see higher profitability and net income growth. This evidence solidifies the argument that conscious sales can drive growth and performance.
Beatrice Stonebanks is a seasoned sales strategist with over four decades of experience in transforming sales teams and boosting revenue growth. She is an author, a speaker, and a community outreach leader praised for her insightful approaches to modern sales challenges. Outside of her professional life, Beatrice is an avid community volunteer and enjoys mentoring young entrepreneurs, the formerly incarcerated, and LGBTQ+ non-profits. Connect with Beatrice on LinkedIn or reach out directly: beatrice@stonebanks.net.
